Here’s the truth…God wants to heal you from father wounds.
The places in your heart where pain still resides.
Although our individual stories are unique, it’s important to recognize what’s truly in our hearts concerning our father.
Maybe your hurt stems from a father figure such as an uncle or grandfather.
Whatever the case, God wants to heal you.
As I write this blog, I think of my life growing up with my father and having him mean the world to me. I wanted to make my father proud and for him to know that I loved him.
As I reflect on memories from childhood, I can hear my father’s voice in my head and see his toothy smile as he arrives home from work.
I would giggle as I met him at the front door for him to pick me up, toss me in the air multiple times, and shout aloud, “Hey ba-by!”
When my father worked in the yard, I would purposely walk inside his mud-made footsteps, forged in the grass and cascading along the concrete patio.
I was so eager to step into his shoe prints and look back at the comparison of my tiny shoe to his ginormous boot print.
As I grew, I was determined to show him I could keep up with his fast, long-legged pace as we walked from the car to the grocery store–excited to just be with my father, no matter what.
I wanted my father to notice my pretty dresses and baby dolls. I needed to be near him to hear his voice, copy his ways, and compare his features to mine—the shape of his nose, the detail of his eyes, his unique mannerisms, how my small hand fit inside his hand, and even the sound of his breathing, with occasional snoring, when he would dose off on the couch.
The image of seeing my father kneeling and praying at the foot of the bed while my mother was sleeping has never escaped my memory.
My father was a great teacher who shared much wisdom throughout my life—yet, his past and upbringing had levels of brokenness.
Cambridge Dictionary describes brokenness as a state of strong emotional pain that stops someone from living a normal or healthy life.
As I aged and my understanding matured, I began to experience a pattern of behavior from my father that stemmed from the brokenness he’d endured from his father.
Throughout my teens and some parts of adulthood, I was angry at some of the dynamics of my father, and would tell myself the lie that everything was fine—ignoring what was truly in my heart. This ignoring of my heart caused me to doubt who I was as his daughter and blocked my relationship with the Lord and others.
While laying my heart before the Lord over the years in the area of forgiveness and unhealed father wounds, here’s what He shared…
Colossians 3:5-10
“5 So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. 6 Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming. 7 You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world. 8 But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. 9 Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. 10 Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.”
Colossians 3:13
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Matthew 6:14-15
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
So many people lie when it comes to truly expressing how they feel regarding their relationship with their father or father figure.
Or, it’s “taboo” within most families to mention anything slightly accusing towards your father or father figure.
Attending a church or becoming part of a ministry does not exempt a person from the hurt and pain they’ve caused or experienced.
Social media will never substitute for a healed relationship.
One must be open and honest about the pain that lies deep within their heart.
Taking your pain to Jesus and repenting will truly set you free.
Being broken by the Father is not the same as being broken by your earthly father.
“Brokenness, in a biblical context, refers to a state of being deeply aware of one’s own sinfulness, inadequacy, and need for God’s grace and mercy. It is often associated with humility, repentance, and a contrite heart. The concept of brokenness is not merely about being emotionally shattered but is a spiritual condition that leads to a deeper reliance on God.” -BibleHub
Many years ago, God showed me how to separate the humanistic behavior of my father from the spiritual aspects of what He says in His Word concerning fathers.
This revelation enabled me more freedom to heal from the hurts that were plaguing me.
I was able to truly see my earthly father through the eyes of the Father and see all aspects of who my earthly father was in the spirit, allowing for His boundaries and peace to be established.
Ephesians 6:2-3
2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
Upon this new perspective with the Father, my prayer life deepened and my heart softened—snatching me away from any unhealthy, toxic generational behaviors that will opt to take over.
You must choose to heal—breaking away from all bitterness and hurt that wants to destroy the blessings that come with being in and having a Godly family.
You see…the enemy wants you to hate your father.
If you are not prayerful or allow the Holy Spirit to rule in your life, a corrupt spirit can form that causes you to hate your father, men in general, and male leaders due to the unhealed places, which leads to a hatred towards Father God.
Just so you know… the healing process still continues even if your father is no longer living.
Although my father passed away years ago, the healing process never stopped.
Remember this…
Psalm 34:18- “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Strength and healing are found when we surrender our hearts to the Lord.
Psalm 51:7- “The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.”
Fathers with surrendered hearts unto God are needed now more than ever. This urgency runs deep and stretches throughout generations.
Whether male or female, God needs you to heal. Let Him know what you need by speaking honestly with Him. He will help you beyond what you can imagine.
The world needs you healed!
Trust God.
Jeremiah 29:11
”For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
He loves you.
